Dave Ramsey

I remember when I first heard Dave Ramsey talk about teaching kids about money. He said that age three was a good time to start, and he suggested giving kids a glass jar to use as a bank so they could see their money accumulate. It sounded brilliant at the time, but I had no idea how much a three-year-old would understand.

When Brennan turned three in March and I was pregnant, we found a perfect first opportunity to teach our son about the value of money and the joy of giving.  We were wandering Babies R Us one day, and Brennan wanted to buy everything he saw for the new baby.  I explained that we needed money to buy things, and I asked Brennan if he would like to save some money of his own to buy his new sibling a present.  He loved the idea.

Over the following several months, we sought opportunities to "pay" Brennan for his hard work. He did not have official chores, as we both feel he is still a bit too young. Rather, we found times when he was a really hard worker, cheerful giver, big helper, etc., and rewarded him with a dollar or some change for his jar.  We did this very intermittently and unexpectedly so he would not learn to manipulate us or require payment for good behavior.  (When he is older and has official jobs around the house, he will receive regular payments; it just didn't seem appropriate yet.)  Each time he was given money, Brennan put it in a small glass jar.  Jim and I wrinkled up dollar bills to make the jar look more full, and Brennan was so excited to see his money grow. We talked regularly about the fact that he was going to use the money to buy his baby sister a Birth Day present, and we reviewed the kinds of things babies like and need.

After months of saving, we went shopping for the big present.  We counted Brennan's money before we left the house and put it in an envelope.  We discussed the fact that he had about $11, so he couldn't spend more than that.  Then, we headed to Babies R Us.  As soon as we got in the door, Brennan started grabbing things.  He wanted to buy his sister cute socks, a pair of shoes, a sweater...  (Jim says he spends too much time alone with Mommy!)  Items that were too expensive were left on the shelves, but things that were an option got tossed into the shopping cart.  I carefully reminded Brennan before we went in to the store - and numerous times while we were shopping - that we weren't buying everything, but we would look at a few things and then make a final decision at the end.  It didn't take long before he started getting choosier.  After the first reminder, he saw a pair of pink shoes he liked better than the brown ones he had put in the cart, so he took the brown ones out and put them back on the rack by himself.  He started thinking things through better, too.  At one point I asked him, "Do you think your baby sister would like that?" and he said, "No, I don't think she would," while hanging it back on the rack.  (Later, after reconsidering, he went back for that item, and I could tell he had really thought about it.)  When he had about eight items in the basket, I decided to stop the process. (He's only three, and we didn't need to narrow down a cartful!)  I laid all of the items out and asked him what we should buy.  He was adamant about buying a toy camera, which was on sale for $3 (Hooray! He's already frugal!), so that left about $8 he could still spend.  I showed him which items we could still afford, and he immediately chose a small pink pretend cell phone.

We returned the items we weren't going to buy and proceded to the front of the store.  Brennan insisted that he would hand the items to the cashier, and he counted out his dollar bills himself (thankfully no one was in line, because the clerk wasn't as into the lesson as we were).  I handed Brennan his bag with purchases totaling just under $11, and he left the store, beaming.  We talked about the fact that he had worked hard for the money and used it to help someone else, and Jim and I each praised him like crazy for his generosity.

When I told Brennan that I was going to take a picture of him with his gifts, he was a total ham.  He is so proud, and it will be a lot of fun when he gives the presents to his sister.   He is only three and a half, but already this little lesson has taught him  - on an appropriate level - about selflessness and giving, saving, the value of a dollar, buying things you can afford, and work. We will definitely have to start filling the jar again for Christmas... and it's probably time to start talking soon about having separate jars for giving, saving, and spending!  What a blessing to be able to teach a toddler lessons that are hard even for adults to learn!

A good friend wrote me an email today about a topic that is really important to me: Getting out of debt. And seeing as how there are lots and lots of people out there who could have written the exact same email (except that they don't know me, and she does!), I asked her if would be okay if I shared it on my website. Here it is:

Hey Melissa

How are you??? I am doing well. I'm actually emailing you for some financial advice. If you can't point me in the right direction, do not worry. I just thought of you when I was trying to figure some things out.

(My husband and I ) have gotten to a point in our life where we are making a substantial amount of money. HOWEVER, we have nothing to show for it minus a 401K and credit card debt. I just don't know where to begin to turn things around. I'm tired of living pay check to pay check and I know there is a better way.

Where do you suggest I start????

Woohoo! You have to understand something. Now that Jim works for Dave Ramsey in the IT department, we don't get to spend a lot of time working with people one-on-one to help them get out of debt. We rarely get to see firsthand the effects of Dave's ministry, since Jim's work is entirely behind-the-scenes. This email was a blessing to me today.

I am so, so passionate about this subject. Being debt-free has changed our lives. Actually, the process of becoming debt-free is what initially changed us. We started working together on our finances. Our marriage improved, our giving improved, our relationship with God improved, our stress levels improved...

A few years ago I heard Dave Ramsey say, "Imagine a life without any payments," and it actually depressed me. I couldn't imagine it. It seemed unattainable. No credit card debt? No car payments? No student loans? We had tens of thousands of dollars to pay off! I just didn't think we'd ever, ever get there.

But we did. We budgeted and we cut corners. We scrimped and we saved. And we did it. A life with no payments. A life that allows me to be a stay-at-home mom even after a giant move and a pay cut! A life that allows me to hug and kiss my husband when we talk about money instead of crying and storming off in frustration. A life that enables me to try my own craft business, a dream I have had for a while. A life that allows us to give cheerfully. A life that never has to worry about paying the bills.

I want so badly for other people to experience the same peace that we have. I want my friends to break the cycles of fear and fatigue, constantly working to pay for things that no longer bring them joy. I want other people's children to avoid the mistakes their parents made, so they too can have peace.

It's hard to break the cycle that our culture promotes. It's difficult to be different and do something uncomfortable. It isn't fun to make sacrifices. But very few things worth having come easily. I'm so excited to have someone I care about tell me that she is ready to be different and take the road less traveled for the sake of the reward. (And you can ask anyone who has traveled this road: The reward is indeed great.)

Do you know someone who is in the same boat as my friend: Someone who is sick of having, as Dave says, "Too much month left at the end of the money?"

Do want to know what I told my friend? Where should you start if you're sick of living paycheck to paycheck? This post is too long already. And I don't want to give out the answers without making you think first. If you want to know, you'll have to check back in the next day or two!

This past Saturday we had our first Lampo Christmas party. (Lampo is Dave Ramsey's company, where Jim works.) We haven't ever written about Jim's job, but we should, because it is the reason we are in Nashville.

We moved here in February of this year (2008) so Jim could start working for Dave in the IT department. It was a long, hard road to get here, but we are certain that God led us. Saturday night was a great night to celebrate this. Honestly, I was astounded (yet again) by the great company that Jim works for.

More and more I know that there is no better place for my husband to work. The team members believe deeply in what they do, they love going to work, and they are, in turn, treated like gold. They are respected, appreciated, and honored, and I can't imagine that anyone at any company, anywhere, is treated better.

What a gift to see God answer our prayers for a job that would impact others for His Kingdom. We are blessed beyond measure.